Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?
They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.
If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"
Then I unplugged his life support.
A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.
His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"
