You Know You've Done It

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

What do you call a judge with no balls?

Justice Prick