How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?
They both don't exist!
A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"
She says: "Because I miss mine."
I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.
There was soup everywhere!
My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I told her I got a girlfriend.
And that's when the fight started...
