Say What?!

A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"

She says: "Because I miss mine."

Where does a one-legged waitress work?

IHOP

What's her name?

Ilene

A match asks if he can get into a dance club. The Bouncer says: "You can go in. Just don't start anything."

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.