Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.