Get Back In The Kitchen!

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?

Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.