I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?
So I went to the doctor for a physical and he told me I should stop jerking off. I asked him why should I stop?
He told me: "Because you're at a physical."
You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.
I was in bed with this chick last night. She turned to me and whispered in a low, sexy voice: "I want tonight to be magical"
So I fucked her and disappeared.
