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Right Idea Wrong Place

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You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.

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A Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...

Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!

- Billy

Didn't See That One Coming

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to her.

Make A Wish

Little Johnny's parents got divorced. One night Little Johnny walked past his mother's bedroom, the door was open, and he sees his mother lying on her back playing with herself, saying "I need a man... I need a man..."

A few nights later he walks past her bedroom again, the door's open, and he sees his mother with a man on top of her.

Little Johnny runs to his room, jumps on his bed, pulls down his pants and starts playing with himself, saying, "I need a bike... I need a bike... "