How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"
"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."
Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?
I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.
"Six-thirty."