I have a a real problem with sex and booze...
Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.
What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather on her... kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
It was dad's turn to take his 10-year old daughter for a haircut... so he took her to his favorite barber.
While she was sitting in the chair with her lollipop the barber walked up and warned, "You're going to get hair on your lollipop."
The little girl nodded and said, "Uh, huh. And I'm gonna get tits, too."
