What does a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets.
An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.
"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."
The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."
Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"
A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
...so, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started...
