What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?
Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.
What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?
A Willie Nelson.
Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:
"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."
