A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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I Have One Question

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Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Do It

You should never make jokes about vaginas...

Period.

Gone Fishin'

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Even After You're Dead...

How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?

The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.