I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"

"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."

How can you tell a blind guy at a nude beach?

It's not hard.

My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."

"Why such a big hole?" she asked.

"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."