The King and The Queen

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

The captain's log.

"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."

Why did Santa get arrested?

He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!