Ruled By A Dictator

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"

So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."

And that's when the fight started...

Guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking its balls. The guy looks at the bartender and says: "Man I whish I could do that!"

The bartender tells him: "Better try petting him first!"