What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
A new last name.
A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"
He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?
Trust me.
My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
And that's when the fight started...
