My buddy, at a party we threw, paid my wife a nice compliment. He told her: "You're really a good-looking women. Honest, I really mean it... I've only had one beer."
As my wife smiled back to thank him I quickly added: "Imagine how good she'll look after you've had two!"
Little Johnny is walking along with his father and they pass two dogs that are going at it. He says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' over there?"
His father says, "Er... son, they're making a puppy."
That night, Little Johnny walks past his parents bedroom, and the old man's giving it to the old lady. Little Johnny says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' now?"
His father says, "Er...son, we're making you a baby brother."
Little Johnny says, "Well, flip her over. I'd rather have a puppy."
