What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
A new last name.
I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"
I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
A midget whips out his two-foot dick.
The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."
"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."