What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
A new last name.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
(uhhhh....Yeah, I have the same feeling you are having! :-O)
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
"Good morning, Your Honor."