Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves!

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

Man talks dirty to a woman? That's sexual harassment.

Woman talks dirty to a man? That's $1.99 a minute.

A girl says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for my vibrator."

He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."

She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a fucking vibrator."

The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.