Why is a woman like a car?
On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.
You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.
I saw my wife bought one of those new Wonder Bras.
Goofing around I told her: "You know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off you wonder where your tits went."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
Shoot him again.
