On One Condition

A match asks if he can get into a dance club. The Bouncer says: "You can go in. Just don't start anything."

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?

Spit, swallow, and gargle

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.