What is the cheapest meat?
Deer balls, they're under a buck.
What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.
My wife was on the rag and I just couldn't take any more of her bitchin'. So I asked: "What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?"
Then before she could answer I told her: "You can negotiate with a terrorist."
And that's when the fight started...
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
