Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other: "Man, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"
His buddy signs back: "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." The fist guy signs: "How do you do that?"
His friend signs to him: "Easy! I turn the lights off!"
Bill and Ted, decide they want to go out and get wasted, but after counting all their money, they realise they only have about ten bucks between them. So Ted gets an idea. They head over to a local butcher and Ted tells Bill to wait outside. Ted comes out a few minutes later with a foot long sausage. Bill reminds his buddy they want to get wasted, not eat.
Ted assures him not to worry, "We'll hit a bar and drink them dry. Then, when we're ready to leave, I'll have the sausage in my pants, and you start sucking on it. They won't even think about asking for money." Sure enough, after a bunch of drinks at the first bar, Bill goes down on Ted and the bouncer immediately kicks them out. Ted tells Bill, "See, I told you this would work. Let's hit another." This goes on for 3 more bars.
As they are about to stumble into the next one, Bill turns to Ted and says, "Hey... Can I have the sausage this time? My neck is killing me." Ted replies, "What sausage? I got hungry 2 bars back."
