What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.
The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "
"Getting my date drunk."
