I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.
There was soup everywhere!
A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"
His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.
Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"
Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"
