Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Two blondes are talking geography. The first one asks: "Which do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?"

Her pal replies: "Hellooo, can you see Florida from here?"

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge.

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I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.

The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.

As Far As The Eye Can See