As Far As The Eye Can See

Two blondes are talking geography. The first one asks: "Which do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?"

Her pal replies: "Hellooo, can you see Florida from here?"

Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

Cop stops a young prostitute on the street & asks: "What would your mother say if she saw you out hooking?"

"She'd be pissed as hell... this is her corner!"