A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
A man approaches a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asks, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” the woman asks.
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”