Excuses, Excuses

: Created: 14 February 2015; Hits: 2265

A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."

"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"

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Nutrition Is So Important

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

You Learn Something New Everyday

I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"

I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"

And that's when the fight started...

Mom's Best Advice

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."