Excuses, Excuses

: Created: 14 February 2015; Hits: 2243

A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."

"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sex Is Like A Car

Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."

Need A Change Of Pace

You know, it's not every day my wife says, "Sweetheart, why don't you take me upstairs, fuck me in the ass and cum all over my face."

Today was no exception.

Over My Dead Body

What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.