A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

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What would you call a woman who goes out with You?

Desperate!

Happy Valentines Day!

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What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?

Her navel.

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What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

"Good morning, Your Honor."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."

And that's when the fight started...

Black Listed

Three couples, one older, one middle-aged and one newlywed want to join a church club. So they go down to the church to meet with the pastor who is responsible for screening couples before they join. After the pastor tells them about all the benefits of joining, he explains that in order to qualify, they must refrain from having sex for one month. If they fail they would not be approved for membership. The three couples each agree and head on home.

A month later, the three couples return and and sit down again with the pastor. He asks the older couple if they had abstained from having sex. The older couple replied, "Oh yeah, no problem." and they are allowed to join.

Next the middle-aged couple were asked the same question and their reply was the same. So they too were approved for membership.

Finally the pastor asked the newlyweds the same question and the husband responded: "Well, it went great for a couple of weeks. But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on a shelf and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just couldn't stand it. That's when I said the hell with it and screwed her right there."

The pastor was shocked but said: "You realize that now you won't be allowed into the club."

The husband replied: "Oh that's okay, we're not allowed back into Safeway either!"

Tough To Find Good Help

Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."