What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"
Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."
Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
And that's when the fight started...
A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."
She walks in and finds him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says.
"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."
