Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"
Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
What is more messed up than fingering your sister?
Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.
What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's dick.