Put It On My Bill

: Created: 27 July 2015; Hits: 2473

Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"

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Roll Call

Every morning the teacher took roll call by having her students stand up and recite a short poem. The first to go sat in the front row and was the teacher's pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan. When I grow up to be a man, I want to go to Japan... if I can, and I think I can."

Next up was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood and answered roll call by reciting, "My name is Suzy. When I become a lady, I would like to have a baby... if I can, and I think I can."

Finally it was Little Johnny's turn, a wise guy who sat way in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a crap about Japan. But I'd sure like to help Suzy with her plan... if I can, and you bet your sweet ass I can!"

Whore House

What's more profitable, a 1-story whore house or a 2-story whore house?

A 1-story... no fucking overhead.

You Have Mine And I Have Yours

A woman is at home when she hears a knock at the front door. When she opens it there's a man standing there who shouts at her: "Hey lady, do you have a vagina?" Scared, she slams the door shut hoping he'll go away.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door again. It's the same guy and he asks the same question. "Do you have a vagina?" And again she slams the door only this time she calls her husband. The husband tells her he'll take off from work the next day and find out exactly what this guy is up to.

So the next morning, with the husband hiding behind the door, here comes that knock again. The husband signals to his wife she should answer yes this time. When she opens the door and the guy asks, "Do you have a vagina?" the wife says, "Yes I do."

"Perfect" the man replies, "Tell your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"