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Just Plain Funny

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TGIF

Created: 15 March 2016
Hits: 3090

Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Get A Job

Created: 05 March 2016
Hits: 3149

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

Time's Up

Created: 04 March 2016
Hits: 2992

One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the guy what he wants. He says, “Oh, just gimme a beer”.

The bartender asks him “What's wrong, you look really down.”. The man replied, “My wife and i got into a fight and she told me she wouldn't talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats the problem?”

The man said, “Well... the month's up tonight.”

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Passing The Time

Why aren't federal government employees allowed to look out the window in the morning?

Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.

Come This Way

A girl says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for my vibrator."

He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."

She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a fucking vibrator."

Beautiful Women

A man approaches a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asks, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” the woman asks.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

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