There's A Card For Everything

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"

I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."

And that;s when the fight started...

Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?

Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.