What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
And that's when the fight started...
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
