What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?"
I said: "Because they want to."
And that's when the fight started...
A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention.
The Jew, bragging about his virility said, "I have four sons, one more and I’ll have a basketball team!"
The Catholic pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That’s nothing, I have 10 sons, one more and I’ll have a football team."
To which the Mormon replied, "You guys don't have a clue. I have 17 wives, one more and I’ll have a golf course!"
"Mom I tied the knot."
"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."