Legal Connection

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge.

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.