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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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Two guys are having a couple of beers and talking about their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asks the first one.

"Well, not exactly," replies his friend. "She just pretends to be a dog." "Very kinky." says the first guy.

"Well, not really... Whenever I lean over and whisper let's do it doggy style, she rolls over and plays dead."

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What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?

A hundred dollar bill!

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Why is a pussy like the weather?

Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

All Present And Accounted For

A manager hired a new secretary who was young, sweet and proper. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. As she left the room, she politely remarked, “Sir, did you know your barracks door is open?”

At first the boss didn't understand what she meant. But later he looked down and saw his open zipper. That's when he decided to have a little fun with his new hire. Calling her back in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you notice a soldier standing at attention?”

To which his secretary very smartly replied, “Why, no sir. All I saw was a disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!”

Finally Met My Dream Girl

What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.

Darling.

Let There Be Light

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.