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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Little Bit Of Alcohol Always Does The Trick

Hits: 2802

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

No Dope, No Joke

Hits: 3368

Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.

Not Your Ordinary Guy Walks Into A Bar Joke

Hits: 2834

Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"

The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

My Favorite Pastime

I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.

Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."