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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Little Bit Of Alcohol Always Does The Trick

Hits: 2789

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

No Dope, No Joke

Hits: 3356

Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.

Not Your Ordinary Guy Walks Into A Bar Joke

Hits: 2823

Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"

The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Damn Good

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher quickly reponded, "No shit!"

Paper or Plastic?

A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.

"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"

And that's when the fight started...

Blonde Snowman

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.