How are nail polish and panties the same?
They both come off with a little alcohol.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.
One day at lunch her friend remarked: "So... your husband drowned and left you two million dollars. Wow! Two million dollars, and he couldn't even read or write."
"Yeah" the widow replied, "And he couldn't swim either."
