Let There Be Light

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

What happened to the depressed dyslexic?

He threw himself behind the bus.

What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.