How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.
The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.
Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.