Have you heard about the new line of tampons with bells and tinsel?
It's for the Christmas period.
A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."
The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.
I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."
Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"
The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."