In the Spirit of the Season

Have you heard about the new line of tampons with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.

I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.

She asked why not?

"Cause the thief spends less than you do."

And that's when the fight started...