Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?

A microwave doesn't brown your meat!

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling water when the farmer's wife dropped it in?

Don't expect me to get hard so fast... I just got laid by some chick a minute ago.

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Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when a guy in a raincoat walks up and flashes them.

Two of them had a stroke. The third one's arms were too short.

I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"

I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."

And that's when the fight started...

The day before Valentine's day I was looking for the perfect card for my wife when I saw something strange.

On the front of one of the cards it said, "I love you and only you."

By itself it may not sound strange, but this was a package of 20 cards.

Ewwww