What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."
And that's when the fight started...
A guy visits a psychiatrist and lies on the couch. The doc asks: "What's your problem?"
The guy tells him, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat fuck?"
Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"
Mother: "The stork brings them."
Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"
