What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
He's smoking a cigarette.
A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"
She says: "Because I miss mine."
What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
