Chip Off The Old Block

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

A Chinese guy calls his boss and says: "Me sick... Can`t come to work today." The Boss says: "No problem. When I'm sick, I fuck my wife... try that!"

Two hours later the Chinese guy rings back and says: "Me better now... you got a nice house!"

How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?

Trust me.

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."