Chip Off The Old Block

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

Want to see flying saucers?

Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.

A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."

The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.