Baby seal walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What'll it be?"
Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?
A fucking know-it-all.
The difference between a whore & a bitch?
A whore fucks everyone at the party. The bitch? Everyone but you.