Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?

Who cares!

I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!