I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.
Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.
What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
They both have a description of the animal on the front of the cage. The Southern zoo includes a recipe.
Last night, I finally realized a longtime fantasy... I came all over my girlfriend's face.
Man, was she pissed when she woke up.
Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.