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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Toss My Honeymoon Salad

Hits: 3064

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Simple Test

Hits: 3236

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

He Takes The Crown

Hits: 2957

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Faking It

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken.

Not A Lifesaver

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel all types of objects, smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of candy lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.

"Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped. "I’ll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It’s something your Mommy probably calls your Daddy all the time."

Instantly, Little Johnny spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit ’em out, you guys, they’re assholes!"

Didn't See That One Coming

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to her.