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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Toss My Honeymoon Salad

Hits: 3061

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Simple Test

Hits: 3231

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

He Takes The Crown

Hits: 2954

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Picture Perfect

I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.

She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."

And that's when the fight started...

Give Me One In A Bun

How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?

The hot dogs taste like shit.

One Way To Drive Home The Point

A guy gets on a bus sits down next to a very attractive nun. Totally enamored he boldly asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally the nun says no and gets off at the next stop. The guy goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of any way he might be able to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

So the guy figures he would give it a try. He dresses up in his best God costume and hides out in the cemetery. At eight he sees the nun arrive. Just as she starts to pray he jumps out to confront her as God.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The guy tells her she must first have sex with him to prove her faith. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, as he ravages her from behind. When it's over, the guy suddenly pulls off his God disguise and shouts: "Haha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Haha!" the nun says back to him while pulling her costume off, "I'm the bus driver!"