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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Toss My Honeymoon Salad

Hits: 3069

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Simple Test

Hits: 3240

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

He Takes The Crown

Hits: 2959

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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On The Rag, Vampire Style

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

Not A Total Loss

Guy gets home from work on the day the stock market tumbled looking visibly upset. His wife asks: "Honey, what's the matter?"

He tells her: "I can't believe I lost half my money and I still have you."

And that's when the fight started...

Doctor's Recommendation

A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."

The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"

The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."