Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

Forty-five pounds.

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.

She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.

I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."

And that's when the fight started.

Toss My Honeymoon Salad