Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!
"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."
Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."
Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"
Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."
Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"
