Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"
She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"
And that's when the fight started...
A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend asks, “Why not?”
The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?
"Honey, I'm home."
