Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"
I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
