Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
Man is incomplete until he’s married.
Then he’s finished.
Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."
