What's better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
Women are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
