Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.
