Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
Why is a pussy like the weather?
Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.
What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts.
(Oh yeah, I'll be here all night...)
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
