Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."
Here's my observation about work and productivity:
It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn’t block access to porn sites on the internet.
A man calls the doctor and is frantic, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
