A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday." The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much." Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five." She says, "Great, I'll take it." He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?" She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."
The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Tyrone."
Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Tyrone. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m...f-a-r-n...f-n..."
The teacher says, "Tyrone, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."
Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five Tyrone ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."
