Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"
Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
It helps them remember which end to wipe...
