What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it?
Strip Poker.
What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"
I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."
And that's when the fight started....