What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it?
Strip Poker.
What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?
They both go down for the count!
Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?
They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.
My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.
I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"
And that's when the fight started...
