One day the teacher walked up to the blackboard and she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she walked into the room and again saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' on the blackboard. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she erased the board and proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, as arrived at class she found the same word written on the board, only each day's word was larger than the previous day's word.
Finally, one morning she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found: 'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!'
An old man walked into a doctor's office to find a crowded waiting room. When he approached the front desk the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, how may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he said out loud.
The receptionist became irritated and admonished the old guy, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say such things in that fashion."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he answered.
"Because" replied the receptionist. "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of strangers. You should have been more delicate and said somehting like 'there's something wrong with my ear.' Then you could have discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
"Ah... I see." said the old man. Then he proceeded to walk out of the office. waited several minutes and returned. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes?"
This time the old man stated "There's something wrong with my ear". The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
